One of my favorite moments as a User Experience Designer was watching two engineers argue passionately about whether Betty, my administrative assistant persona, would prefer to see her executives’ calendars in separate tabs or combined in a single view. What was notable about the discussion was that technological constraints and implementation challenges had dropped aside and the engineers were debating which solution would benefit Betty most.

Of course, I did step in and suggest we run some tests with some real-life Betties to find out what they themselves thought, but I walked away with an important lesson.

The engineers had put themselves into Betty’s shoes and found her challenges compelling. They became Betty, and her problems became their problems. Most important, they were invested in her success.

As a manager, team lead, and designer, that is a lesson I have repeatedly come back to and have tried to impart. Instilling empathy for our users in all members of the team, be they designers, engineers, product managers, stakeholders, or whomever, is the first, and most important ingredient to successful design.

But that requires more than just saying “our user is Betty” and hoping someone actually cares. Designers need to create compelling stories that drive a level of understanding and sympathy. Whether presenting to executives, engineers, or even customers, the audience wants to know Who the design is for, what Challenge they are trying to resolve, and, of course, they want a Happy Ending.

Whether designing an experience for a bored kid who just wants to defeat some Bad Piggies so he can brag to his friends, or a bored Account Representative who just wants to use social media to score a big deal so she can get a big raise (and brag to her friends), if you can’t tell an engaging story no one will be invested.

We want, no, need engineers fighting over Betty.

So, sit back, relax, and let me regale you with a tale or two of my design journey.